#thereisnolove

what is this coldness that covers the world and makes us blind?

what is this coldness that covers the world and coats our tongues?

where are our hearts,

where are our hearts?

Our hearts

where is the humanity?

there is no love

there is no love

#thereisnohome

there is an awakening within

when we realize that lives are being destroyed before our eyes

and our silences will not save us..

 

people are dying, threats are flying

and our mouths,

mouths choosing to be shut,

mouths  choosing not to engage,

mouths choosing to not see,

mouths choosing to preach,

choosing to preach “this too shall pass”

there is no passing in silence, there is no passing in silence

 

listen

your silence will not protect you,

my silence will not protect me,

our silence will not protect us, you and me

 

there is an awakening within my body and my tongue is on fire, my heart is heavy…

there is no home

there is no home that can be born on silent tongues

need I say it,

need we say it,

people are dying because of the skin of their color,

their religion

their sexuality

their background

 

————-

there is no home

————-

 

there is no home. there is no home. thereisnohome.thereisnohome. thereisnohome.thereisnohome

 

there is no home

when it demands that we swim in a pool of our loved ones,

that we pretend not to care

all in the name of humanity

there is no home when it demands that we say why we are hurt by words, when our very own boots are standing on the throat of people we choose to not see

 

there is an awakening..

and limbs are rising..

rising to say there is no home

there is no home

there is no home.there is no home. there is no home. thereisnohome.thereisnohome. thereisnohome.thereisnohomethereisnohome.thereisnohome. thereisnohome.thereisnohome

 

there is no home

when we have to justify the killing,

the terrorizing of people of color,

of women,

of trans bodies,

of immigrants,

of muslims,

of jews

of children  

because they “deserved it”

 

when we have to explain  why language like “get over it”

is an erasure of bodies that are interconnected through memories  

it is the erasure of bodies to sooth our own tongue

 

there is an awakening

as the limbs connected stand,

“there is no home” they shout,

“there is no home”

 

there is no homethereisnohome.thereisnohome. thereisnohome.thereisnohome.there is no homethereisnohome.thereisnohome. thereisnohome.thereisnohome.there is no homethereisnohome.thereisnohome. thereisnohome.thereisnohomethereisnohome

there is no home

And to the people who so believe there is a home,

there is no home,

there never has been a home but bodies that have been skinned to keep you warm,

and the blood of the people raped, terrorized, and murdered  that has kept you

FULL…

 

So

do not tell me there is a home called “humanity”

there is no home..

there is no homethereisnohome.thereisnohome. thereisnohome.thereisnohome.there is no homethereisnohome.thereisnohome. thereisnohome.thereisnohome.there is no homethereisnohome.thereisnohome. thereisnohome.thereisnohomethereisnohome.there is no homethereisnohome.thereisnohome. thereisnohome.thereisnohome.there is no homethereisnohome.thereisnohome.thereisnohome.thereisnohome.there is no

homethereisnohome.thereisnohome. thereisnohome.thereisnohomethereisnohome

 

until we are able to look at our hands at people’s throats,

until we are able to look at our bodies’s warmth and question who am i forgetting?

until we able to stand still and listen

listen with our hearts,

listen in a way that makes US break back into our womb

silently listening..

there is no home

and there will continue to be no home

until we are ready to shade the illusion of the so called “home”

there will continue to be none



#thereisnohome

eyes

there is no home

there is no home

there is no home because my home was born in the womb of my body,

in the blood that trickles through my veins,

the tight black curls,

the blackness of my skin..

there is no home in a place that chooses silence instead of taking action

I slip through the cracks, day in and day out with the stomping of

soles by my so called community, school, peers..

 

there is no home,

there is no home in a place that constantly asks me to crumble myself into myself,

the black of my body,

the african of my tongue,

 

there is no home

there is no home when people sit in silence and watch

turning the volume off and watching bodies erase

 and we do nothing..

we do nothing..

 

there is no home when our concept of love is so narrow that bodies are being erased, murdered, in order to maintain this so called illusion of love,

there is no home when we uphold the poison that has seeped into our tongues making us unable to learn that a pair is not a division, rather a whole

 

there is no home when the concept of success is an illusion that kills and destroys immigrants communities

communities that have been sold a lie for a dream,

as they uprooted their lives and traditions for the American dream,

for  their bodies to be delivered into slavery, sex work, prison industries,

always being erased and buried

 

there is no home..

there is no home

when the world is tired and broken..

our brothers and sisters dying in our hands

our eyes the bearer of “news”

there is no home

 

there is no home..

where the world is tired and broken..

our brothers and sisters dying in our hands

our eyes the bearer of “news”

there is no home

still searching

i am tired

of protecting people from the poison

they unleash into the world

and call humanity

and

always  coming undone

broken

unable to sleep

confused as to why my mind is not at peace

reaching for sweets to take bitterness out of the world

 

i am ashamed that I consoled a man that could not hear

nor see the pain in the lines of a friend

and of my tongue carefully crafted with compassion and sadness

 

I am ashamed that I could not stand with a friend

a peer, as she bleed in front of me

and I could not hold her

 

I am ashamed

I am ashamed that I pushed my pain aside

and I am bleeding now into pages and am coming up thirsty

there are no word for this

there are none

all I know is that the world tastes empty and heartless

“so why is my hurt seen as an attack?”

 

my self-compassion is not an attack

my need to care for myself is not a boycott

it is me attempting to stand up for myself

to say no, i can not do this today

my heart is hurting

my mind is hurting

I am hurting..

I am hurting

My tongue is hurting

 

can nobody but the black curls see the pain in these sleepless eyes?

 

why am I always misunderstood

disrespected

silenced?

the scars

 

raindrops2

I have been thinking about the power

the power of what it means to say I matter

that my body matters

that black and brown bodies matter

that we matter

 

I am scared and scarred

I keep thinking to myself,

what would it mean for me to get up and walk away?

what would it mean to me to listen to my own heart beat

and to realize I am numb and hurting 

and I need to get up and walk away?

 

I have failed myself

I have failed myself

 

I am scared and scarred,

hurting ten times over

Not sure why the world always let me down

 

I am ashamed

ashamed of not being able to say

“fuck this shit, I love myself too much for this bullshit”

 

I am ashamed and the scars are not going to heal anytime soon

because I can not stop thinking,

I can not stop thinking that I too must mean something

 

I am scared that the concept of self love is a theory that I believe exists

but it is not meant for my body and that leaves a scar

 

I am scarred from the books I have to read in the name of being” educated”

and I am tired,

tired of having to prove that I am meant to be in spaces

when I am not meant to be

 

I am tired

tired of having to hold my tongue because

to speak would be considered disrespectful

 

I am tired

tired of when I stand up for myself

I am always seen as disrespectful

ungrateful

and always

misunderstood

always

 

I am tired

tired of when I stand up for myself

I am always seen as disrespectful

ungrateful

and always

misunderstood

always

 

where is my body?

Man pushes Muslim woman into oncoming underground train in London

 

I have had no place to put words but in the air,

to scream as I watch myself hit the ground

my mouth wide open

filled with hopelessness

with despair

my eyes blind

where is my body?

 

there is no home..

there is no home

there is no home

there is no home

 

where is my body?

I can only think and think to myself

sleeping and waking up troubled

my chest in pieces

my mouth parched

something is wrong

something is wrong

 

“The founding mission of Cornell University is that any person can find instruction in any study. Yet, while Cornell touts its compositional diversity, the campus environment is not conducive to the overall success of students of color and many other students whose cultural or socioeconomic backgrounds do not fit the mold of the historically wealthy, white university population,” said Noelani Gabriel ’16, delivering a speech written collectively by a group of students.

 

there is no home..

there is no home

there is no home

there is no home

 

Ankle Monitors Weigh on Immigrant Mothers Released From Detention

 

my heart has stopped bleeding

somebody help me

please

something is wrong

 

2015 is not what we thought it was. The deadliest hate crime against Black folk in the past 75 years happened THIS YEAR in Charleston.More unarmed Black folk have been killed by police THIS YEAR than were lynched in any year since 1923.Never, in the history of modern America, have we seen Black students in elementary, middle, and high school handcuffed and assaulted by police IN SCHOOL like we have seen this year.

 

there is no home..

there is no home

there is no home

there is no home

 

Hundreds of protestors from the University of Cape Town (UCT), Cape Peninsula University of Technology and the University of the Western Cape participated in the #NationalShutdown over university fee increase, outsourcing and a living wage for workers on Wednesday.

 

into the air they fly,

where is my body?

who am i?

can i exist in this world…

can i?

my heart acks

somebody help me

please..

something is wrong

 

there is no home..

there is no home

there is no home

there is no home

 

U.S. Republicans seek to shut door on Syrian refugees after Paris

 

where is my body… give it back to me.. i have to protect it.. they are coming.. they are coming for it.. why do i never come prepared.. my hands are sweating… let me disappear into my body.. something is wrong.. where is my body

 

there is no home..

there is no home